Websters dictionary describes a hypochondriac as a person with extreme depression of mind or spirits often centered around imaginary physical ailments. I won't say that all their ailments are "in their head", but they are definitely magnified . A large number of people in my family suffer from this disorder, which leads me to believe it is hereditary or at least learned from one hypo to another.
This definition is important in explaining the reason I am awake at 4:00 in the morning. I had my dog molly soaking in the bathtub, because she got into something funky. Just as I begin to apply dog shampoo the phone starts to ring. I answer because it is Morgan and I know she will call incessantly if I do not. Hands covered in dog soap, holding Molly down and trying to balance the phone with my shoulder and ear I answer the phone. I can not hear her, which of course makes me yell. This upsets her and what I get out of the conversation is: she is in pain, she can't walk, she has 2 ear infections, and based on the tone of voice and inflection, she is half dead.
I tell her to come over and we will go to the ER and see if she is OK. We have to wait for Amanda to get home, to watch the babies, so it is after 11 before we even leave. My first observation of Morgan when she arrives at my house is that she is limping, and in some pain, but laughing and giggling and in a ridiculous good mood. We review her symptoms. She had been claiming that her back was hurting for several weeks. I suggested it might be her sciatic nerve and suggested a massage. The woman she worked with suggested a spinal cord injury. Of course Morgan believes the woman at work. Based on location of the pain I became concerned for her kidneys and took her to the hospital.
When we arrived at the hospital she was still giggling and laughing, she was giving the illusion of no pain at all. It was very peculiar, Morgan is not at all a giggly person. We go into triage, no fever, perfect BP, all looks good. Morgan informs the triage nurse that she had 2 ear infections yesterday. The nurse explains the difference between an infection and an earache. I cringe. Hours later the doctor comes in with his diagnosis. He believes she has strained a muscle or her hip, pulled a muscle, or it is her sciatic nerve. It seems like I mentioned that nerve to her, but to continue with the diagnosis. The doc explains that you have a muscle from your but that curves around to your inner thigh, exactly as she has described the pain. He begins to demonstrate a possible move a person can do to strain this particular muscle. Basically you turn your knee to the outside. Leave your feet side by side and rotate your knee open. He demonstrated the move several times, it looked a little like he was dancing. I was starting to laugh at how ridiculous he looked when Morgan says, " OH, I think I know what happened!" I cringe, because based on his example this can not be good.
Evidently 2 weeks ago her and Avian, the roommate, were bored. Morgan decides to show Avian some of her old Gymnastics moves. I say old because Morgan quit Gymnastics many years ago. She does all her old routines for Avian, Beam, Floor, she also threw in a few line dances. At some point, she decides to really WOW avian and does some LEAPS down the wheelchair ramp at her house.
So there we are, at the hospital at 2 in the morning, because Morgan did some leaps down a wheelchair ramp. I cringe, she is laughing, he is laughing. Ibuprofen taken at the onset of pain as I suggested or maybe a $30 massage could have healed her in days. That is the plight of a hypo. They will either over medicate to the point of more harm than good, or they will refuse to take anything because they can not decide what they are dying from today.
I imagine as she gets older and the pains become more common she will learn to manage her hyponess. After all, her medical bills are just that now - HERS!