The solution is the party circuit. Your child is invited to different parties, you attend and get to meet the parents and learn more about the kids. The information gleaned will be invaluable. You will pinpoint; potential bullies, shady parents, parents you have a common interest with, and children who can help your child socially or intellectually.
This may sound harsh and judgmental, but it is a fact of life. We judge people, every one we meet we judge. We would be bad parents if we just allowed our kids to choose the home situations they visit or were unaware that a child was mean to ours. The problem with the party circuit is, while you are judging everyone else, they are judging you.
Audrey and Landon were both invited to birthday parties this past weekend. I gave them both a little pep talk about party manners and leaving early if they did not behave and hoped for the best. Surely, they could behave while playing and having fun at a party.
Party number one was Landon's friend. A Mother's Day out classmate turning 3. The party was at the Party station/Gymnastic Training Center. Certain elements of the gym are off limits to the party people, and rules apply to other parts.
Audrey loves rules. Her favorite was one person on the trampoline at a time. This rule turned her into trampoline Nazi. She scolded adults for allowing multiple children on, she stood watch for long intervals of time to make sure the parents understood the rule, and she protested loudly and dramatically if anyone came near the trampoline while she was on it. She felt compelled, despite all my attempts to make her stop, to be the ENFORCER OF THE RULES.
The wall was lined with mirrors. Audrey loves mirrors. She performed little routines she made up and watched herself in the mirror. She then invited party guests to watch her routines. She could see them in the mirror if they turned away. This caused her to obnoxiously call them out and correct their rude behavior. At one point a two year old little girl joined Audrey on the mat and started twirling around. A party person said, " good job Emily." Audrey turned around and said, "Thank you, but my name is Audrey." Cringe.
My favorite moment was cake cutting. All the kids are around a little table. All the adults are standing around watching their child get a piece of cake. Audrey asks the little boy, "Do you have a house?" His mother is puzzled and says "Yes, we have a house." Audrey said, " No I am talking to him not you. Hey! Do you have a house or do you live in your car?" Awkward silence.... The three year old has no idea what she is even asking him. I jumped in and explained to her that he has a house, he just wanted to have his party at the party station. Audrey says, " Well it looks like he doesn't have a house." Even more awkward silence. I mean really, What do you say to that?
Party number two. A chance at redemption. I have been friends with the parents at party number two for at least five years. They are familiar with some of Audrey's Odder habits. I was still vigilant, but I was a little more at ease. We were greeted by a giant doll house jump house. Very Cool. The kids were so excited to try it out. I found a lawn chair and relaxed for about ten minutes.
The birthday father approached me. He asked me a little bit kidding and a little bit serious. Can I spank one of your kids. Cringe. I inquire as to which one. Evidently, Landon was the culprit. In the bounce house, he called the father over. Landon said, " hey! you can't get me." The father said yes I can. The father leaned into the side of the bounce house pretending to "get " Landon. Landon using his MMA skills and lightning fast reflexes Punched the father in the face. The father although not knocked unconscious did stumble a little. More from shock than injury I am sure. However, it was apparent where Landon had landed his punch.
Fortunately, Audrey was starting her first melt down of the day allowing me flee after a brief apology. Audrey had been given a balloon. The balloon did not have helium, and did not float away. Instead, the wind caught it and blew it out of the fenced yard. Audrey was in hot pursuit. Out the fence and down the street she went, screaming and crying. Fortunately I caught up to her and the balloon before she ran into the middle of the street.
Meanwhile, Landon has been on the porch Making friends with all the adults. I have no idea what he told people. He is a little story teller. I just have to hope it as all in good taste. Unlike the day at the mall when he told his new friend all about his Daddy's diarrhea.
Out of the corner of my eye, I observe Audrey becoming hysterical. She is gearing up for another major melt down. A little boy was chasing Audrey. He was making a noise while chasing her and Audrey started freaking out. She evidently thought he was really a zombie and really going to get her. She was screaming , down on the ground and kicking at him when I got there. Once I convinced her it was a game, she became the most obnoxious zombie you can imagine. She quickly sucked all the fun out of the game and all the kids quit playing. Audrey refused to quit playing which annoyed other kids immensely. She pretty much cleared the backyard of kids.
Leaving the party I am pretty sure of two things; One, we are off the invite list for next year, and two These parents will ever allow their kids to come over to our house for a play date. We appeared violent, uncouth , obnoxious and mentally unstable. The big question is, Will they honor the birthday code and attend Audrey and Landon's party. I am not holding my breath on this one.